I fell in love in San Francisco

I fell in love in San Francisco. It was on this one particularly foggy day when the sun just hid behind the clouds. It seemed to show itself only every so often. I was a wondering wonderer and I was a discovering discoverer. I was curious and I was left caught in a moment. It was a moment of pure joy. Ya know, those moments that seem to come about twice a year or maybe four or five times if you're really lucky. I might not be but that day and on that beach, it was my moment. It's almost as if I could feel it coming and I just ran for it; I booked it and didn't turn back. I'd like to say that the sun was shining in my face but it wasn't.. and that's why it was so perfect. I walked along the icy cold shore of a cold beach. It almost felt like a dream.. a daze.. a natural high. I feel this pull of the beach, the shore, as though I'm meant for it. I've always had this ambition to sail and have my own sail boat and live on my own sail boat. There's just something about sailing that has my heart. So you can imagine what being on the edge of that shore does to me. I miss it even now..

Last week San Francisco was mine:)

Gabe and Me.

"A dog has no use for fancy cars, big homes, or designer clothes. A water log stick will do just fine. A dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, clever or dull, smart or dumb. Give him your heart and he'll give you his. How many people can you say that about? How many people can make you feel rare and pure and special? How many people can make you feel extraordinary?" -Marley and Me.

Dear Gabe,
I miss you everyday. I guess I never realized how much you meant to me. You were my buddy.. my pal.. my little shoulder to cry on when no one else was there. How ya doin?? Are you happy? Are you skinny now? You were with us for more than ten years and in five different houses. I miss literally everything about you. I miss your sad eyes and that little grin you had. I miss your "dogurisms".. you were like a human I sware. I miss your tale and how it was like a whip. I miss your super loud bark that would randomly be heard even if no one was outside. I miss your howling at the sirens once a month when they would test them.. The first saturday of every month was it? I wish I still had the videos of that on my phone.. damn. I miss going on runs with you. I miss chasing you down the street for what seemed like took forever to catch you or wait for you to come back home. I miss me and Caleb trying to give you a bath after returning home smelling like something dead.. you were probably rolling in something dead. I miss you being so afraid of Dad when we'd come home and find that you got into the trash. I miss you running and hiding under the desk in the kitchen because you knew that was your punishment haha. I miss you always obeying when Dad was around but maybe going on the carpet when he wasn't if we tempted you. I miss all your hair that seemed to just multiply even after we'd brush you.. you had gobs and gobs of it too. I miss you eating all the bread.. boy did you love it. I miss your whining to go out and then when we'd put you outside, you'd stare at us through the window and whine some more just to come back inside. I miss how much you loved people and loved everyone. I miss you cuddling in my twin sized bed with me every other night because you'd sleep with Caleb the other nights. I miss how you took turns sleeping with each of us. I miss how adorable you were even when I was so angry at you for farting.. boy did they stink. Above all.. I miss how you were the best dog in the whole world. You were my childhood and the best memory I have of it. You're legendary and I will forever love you and miss you Gabriel Nathaniel Quinn Olson.

Love,

Tatum

Tonight I watched "Marley and Me." Probably not a good idea considering I cried a rediculous amount and I still can't seem to hold back the tears as I write. That movie is so so much like my relationship with my dog Gabe growing up. He was a yellow lab just like in the movie and he ALWAYS ran away and caused trouble. Seriously, like the neighbors and my friends and all our family knew Gabe and that he was just known for running away. He never went super far and he always came home even if it was a day or so later but when the neighbors would find him in their yard, they wouldn't even have to look at the tag for his name and the number of his owner because they just knew who he was and where he lived. He was just a very friendly visitor that visited quite often:) But he truly was the most loving dog in the world. I know everyone says that but just like in the movie, he was ALWAYS there. Through sickness and health until death do us part. I sware the relationship dogs have with their owners more than often than others are more genuine then the relationships people have with eachother whether it's a friendship or a marriage. No matter WHAT, Gabe loved us and never stopped. He didn't even have to think about making a choice to love us.. to him, there was no one or the other, it was love and that is all. I envy that. I wish I were more like Gabe. I'm overwhelmed just reminising on the past and I'm in awe of how wonderful and the impact that this dog has had on me. I don't know if he's still out there or not but I hope he still knows how much I love him. I may not have shown it to him as much as he showed me but I really do. I won't ever forget you Gabey babey. I love you..

Happened to find this old photo of him. Warms my heart.. :')

Hey there, Daddy-o!

First of all, I know it's not Father's Day anymore. Second of all, I don't care.

I suppose I just wanted to take this opportunity to put it out there in the world of how much I genuinely appreciate my dad and who he is. He has such a big heart and he deserves all the respect and thanks in the world from me. I've always grown up in a christian home with him being a pastor and all and even when I've dared to step out into the world and open my eyes to new things, he's let go easily with trust. Looking back on all the years and all the memories I have together with him, he is just so cool. I can't think of a better word to describe him! He's hilarious! I'm seriously the luckiest daughter in the world to have a father like him. Oh the wit.. the weirdo in him.. the dork.. I laugh at 99% of what he says. seriously. Whether it's inside or out, he puts the greatest smile on my face. The other 1% I just roll my eyes because it's probably a rediculous joke.. but I cherish him. He really is an incredible person. He's my rock.. when I'm lost about anything, I call him up or drop by his office for advice or pretty much anything. I love that I can do that, I'm wayy too lucky and blessed to have him.

Daddy, I love you "berry berry much." Please stay as crazy and sweet and awesome just as you are.

Dream a little dream

Dreams are a succession of images, thoughts, or emotions passing through the mind during our sleep. Well, according to dictionary.com that is. What are they really though? Why do we have them? Do they play some sort of role in our lives or have purpose or meaning? I have been so curious and fascinated with this very thing so much lately.

I just recently read an article about sleep and what it says about ourselves. There were eight different types of sleepers: the early-to-bed early-to-rise sleeper, the late-to-bed late-to-rise sleeper, the long sleeper, the dreamer, the dreamless sleeper, the grateful sleeper, the peaceful sleeper, and the necessity sleeper. I am by far both the late-to-bed late-to-rise sleeper and the dreamer. I go to bed so late and sleep-in so late. Although it use to be the other way around and I couldn't sleep-in past 10, I still can be a morning person. I love to plan to get up early and watch the sunrise while sippin my chai in my giant red mug. Red is my favorite color and chai is my favorite hot drink and I prefer sunrise over sunset so it is one hot sweet combination my friends. Anyways, this is all besides the point.

So I sleep late, yes, but I also dream EVERY night. I actually dream all the time. Sometimes I dream during the day when I drift off which, yes, I do a lot. I've always been a very spacey person, which, don't confuse it for stupid I just drift off in my own thoughts and think about the craziest things and it makes me wonder just how lost one could get it they every dared to enter my brain! Anyways. So I dream.. a lot.. and I want to know why! In this article I read, it talked about "the dreamer" as someone who typically is very creative in their waking life, which I agree is very true about me, but it also said that they are at higher risk for schizophrenia! Probably not a surprise considering I talk to myself....often.

For the past couple months thought I have been keeping a dream journal. I record as many dreams as I can remember. I keep it beside my bed at all times just incase I wake up and I write it down right away. I still seem to remember every single one...vividly. It's fascinating to look back on the dreams and compare it to what was going on in my life at the time. I sit and wonder though why dreams are the way they are. It's like being in a movie and watching it all at the same time while you're asleep. I get excited to go to sleep at night just so I can dream, and I'll have something to do even while sleeping! Pretty neat.

But why did God give us dreams? Are they suppose to have meaning? Some people may say that they don't mean anything but I beg to differ. I've learned from my dreams. YES, I have! Strangely enough and the more I write down my dreams, the more I dream.. it's weird. I want to believe that the dreams I have could be premonitions but I don't know if I'll get that lucky depending on the dream of course. So that is why I am writing it all down. I think it'd be cool to have this deja vu experience one day and then go back to my journal and read that I had a dream about it two months ago or 3 years ago, ya never know!

I want to know, what do think???? Is there a meaning behind dreams? Should they be analyzed? I'm very curious so, please, share your thoughts or even a crazy dream that you've had lately. I love to hear about these silly things that hapen while we're asleep. Oh let's entertain Tatum :)

I encourage you to write down your dreams more often even if you don't dream that much. Keep a piece of paper or a little journal beside your bed and as soon as you wake, WRITE IT DOWN. Think about who was in your dream and what happened.. think about what could be the meaning of it, for the sake of it having meaning. I will continue to do this every morning and pray that God sheds some light on this ever so crazy subject consuming my mind as it does.

Here's the article I read, check it out!
http://health.msn.com/health-topics/slideshow.aspx?cp-documentid=100243591&imageindex=1

dream journal:)

Something new.

I love writing, I truly do. Even when I was a kid I grew up loving the arts and writing and drawing and painting was my thing.

I can remember this one time I drew all over my brothers door with crayons. I remember thinking this will be magnificent. This will be a mural. I'm pretty sure I had just learned that word at the time, mural, so a mural it was going to be. Turns out both my parents and my brother weren't to fond of my mural. Still, that never stopped me from doing what I loved. So when I haven't done that very thing in such a long time, I go crazy. I get stuck in a rut and I try starting fresh each time but it's like a circle. I'm done with running in circles, I'm ready to, once again, start fresh and make that a habit of doing what I love non stop. I mean I love it! Shouldn't be as hard as I make it! It's been oh too long since I have blogged. Some people might think blogging is a bit dumb but I love it! I'm sure not many people other than my mom read my blog (no offense mom) but who cares! My words and thoughts are going out there in the world and whomever wants to read shares that freedom.

I'm entering a new chapter in my life and it's a bit scary. I've taken on many risks in my life for I am very riskayyyy and I have learned and grown from taking those but this time it's different. In the last 3 months, my thinking has changed. Literally, I think about things I never have before.. I discover things that only seem to fascinate me.. I have these epiphanies and I wonder why I hadn't had them before. I have done more thinking in the last 3 months then I feel I ever have. Don't get me wrong, I'm not an airhead. I just have grown in my thinking personally without any one person teaching me anything. Pretty cool in my mind.
Anyways, I could ramble on and on and on and on. I'm just ready to get back on my path. It might be a different path when I left it but it's still my path and I'm getting back on it. It's time for something new.

I came across this quote today. It's simple and powerful. Let it be an encouragement to you. ....... . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"This above all: to thine self be true."
- William Shakespeare

Welcome to my journey: PHILIPPINES.

So my journey has begun.. a journey of new people, new cultures and customs and new experiences. I have begun a journey of God. I am where he wants me, right here and now in this exact place. The feeling is incredible and I stand in awe. My experiences and encounters with people and God are a challenge for me to even begin to describe and paint that picture but here is an essence of the past month. My journey began in the Seoul airport in South Korea where our team of five came together. Let me introduce: Vanessa, Justin, Sarah and Yvonne. All of us are binded and connected in a crazy cool way and it's simply God. Each of us are a piece to our puzzle. We spent 3 weeks in Batangas, Philippines staying on two different YWAM bases working with ywam and just simply serving them and their families and the people of their villages. Anywhere from bible studies to sermons to leading praise and worship to playing duck duck goose or running through the streets barefoot playing tag with the filipino children or meeting with the natives on the streets to talk about God's love, we have accomplished so much where God has desired. Our prayer is that the work we have done has been planted seeds that will quickly grow and flourish in not just Batangas but all throughout the country of the Philippines. We pray that everywhere we walk people will notice God's love shining through us and that they'd be so drawn to that love and the plan he has in their lives. This is the beginning of this journey God has taken me on. The beginning of something beautiful, I am blessed to be used by him. This is the Philippines.















This is just the quickest update I could give. More later for I have very minimal computer and wifi access.

Dancing in the sunshine...

Lately I've been dancing in the sunshine.. only way to describe it really! Maybe it's the Christmas spirit and friends and family are on my mind constantly. Words of joy and peace and laughter are what I hear, what I continuously feel and see. I've learned that making the decision to be happy and spreading that joy is powerful.
Come this January until April I have the most incredible opportunity to go back out into the world and spread this joy.. this joy that only comes from God and his beautiful love. Four others and I will be backpacking for almost three months in Southeast Asia through the countries of Thailand, Indonesia, Malaysia, the Philippines, and India. From working with local pastors for a ministry in Thailand to the Mother Teresa homes in India, serving and doing whatever it is for God's kingdom and for his glory it will be.
"You are my child, go and be, shed my light." I am yours God, use me.

Just yesterday I had an awesome shoot with Katarina. She's a german girl I met at church and just absolutely adore her! Her photos totally popped out at me while I was editing them.. Again, the light shined through..